I am going to whine like I always do and say that...I WANT A BB!!! everyone I know has one. :( Don't get me wrong...I looove my xbox but,I think I am going to collect some money when I work and get one. BB curve is also good, as long as I can communicate around with that expensive phone that everyone has would be good.
Seems that everyone who has it can't get off it. I realized that it has become a social need to have it. Especially if you are a girl. I am not sure if this is a good sign or bad, but, my phone is stone age compared to bb.
My parents don't understand it, and it is hard to explain to them how a phone
can change social needs. I don't think they care either, they are just glad that my phone is reachable when I don't loose it, goes out of battery or switch it off. They just want to call me and tell me "get home early!!" "its late" "come home now" and anything with that relation.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
college pregrad
My 4 years of college has led me into disastrous mishaps and at the same time pleasure happiness (quite a journey). Towards the end, it is more of the mishaps than the whimsical feeling of joy. Personally, I have always hated change, it makes me rethink about the plans that I have made for myself. No matter how much time you plan your future or life you may not know how the weather may turn out to be.
Writing this post gave me flashes of harsh memories that I would love to discard. I wish that I would be able to erase certain parts of memories that exist in my head. Exactly like the movie "eternal sunshine" or perhaps the memory charm "obliviate" in "harry potter". Some of my friends told me that I would become a stronger person by swallowing bits and pieces of the harsh reality.
The other side of me is just afraid that I would only become crazier and not stronger. Of course, I have my ways of keeping harsh details away. At certain points, everybody does and will. I would be graduating in 4 days, and I still do not feel the enthusiasm nor the excitement. I just pretend that I am happy that I am graduating,but, I feel closed and trapped.
Although, some may think that I am weak, but, I rather think I am the other way around. I surprise myself sometimes with my own attitude. I am capable of doing a lot of things,but, I tend to have doubts on myself. Self believe can be as low to the amount of zero when it comes to me. I have to learn to believe in myself, when I know how to, I'd be able to pursue any dream that I desire.
Writing this post gave me flashes of harsh memories that I would love to discard. I wish that I would be able to erase certain parts of memories that exist in my head. Exactly like the movie "eternal sunshine" or perhaps the memory charm "obliviate" in "harry potter". Some of my friends told me that I would become a stronger person by swallowing bits and pieces of the harsh reality.
The other side of me is just afraid that I would only become crazier and not stronger. Of course, I have my ways of keeping harsh details away. At certain points, everybody does and will. I would be graduating in 4 days, and I still do not feel the enthusiasm nor the excitement. I just pretend that I am happy that I am graduating,but, I feel closed and trapped.
Although, some may think that I am weak, but, I rather think I am the other way around. I surprise myself sometimes with my own attitude. I am capable of doing a lot of things,but, I tend to have doubts on myself. Self believe can be as low to the amount of zero when it comes to me. I have to learn to believe in myself, when I know how to, I'd be able to pursue any dream that I desire.
Monday, December 6, 2010
anything
if i can go through whatever i am going through myself right now....i can go through anything....
Friday, December 3, 2010
making it through
Life is staged with glorious,mundane,sadness,difficulty etc but, it is all within your will to go through it. Nothing remains the same, life is full of surprises, the surprises that come to you would not always be what you want. No matter how good or how bad it is, when it is there, you can never change it. Which is why it is called fate.
When you believe in religion and you have bad news or surprises, you would believe that it is all written and we have a reason to believe so. When we don't believe in fate and how its written, our minds would be empty and would not have any path, therefore, we would make short term decisions, such as.....death.
The will to survive, is a powerful thing to endure. When we realize that the world isn't what it seems. That is when you get scared and fragile but, showing it to others would make you weak. Therefore, it is you who are responsible to have the ability to keep on moving towards the final destination.
I have learned something. I have learned that giving too much is not the tool of survival. It is an act of selflessness, kindness and a humble gift,but, when you do not give the right things to the right people that is when the act of kindness is not necessary and can be a risk for yourself. Which can be a sin as you do not have self respect. How would it be possible to ask for respect when you yourself do not respect you. It is easy to type and say things here, but, I have to learn what I write too. I have to learn the hard way, like I always do.
Learning the hard way is like swimming in acres of water that is either too hot (boiling) or too cold (freezing). Like I said in the previous sentences, you just have to go through it, with a thick skin, no matter how cold or hot it gets.
When you believe in religion and you have bad news or surprises, you would believe that it is all written and we have a reason to believe so. When we don't believe in fate and how its written, our minds would be empty and would not have any path, therefore, we would make short term decisions, such as.....death.
The will to survive, is a powerful thing to endure. When we realize that the world isn't what it seems. That is when you get scared and fragile but, showing it to others would make you weak. Therefore, it is you who are responsible to have the ability to keep on moving towards the final destination.
I have learned something. I have learned that giving too much is not the tool of survival. It is an act of selflessness, kindness and a humble gift,but, when you do not give the right things to the right people that is when the act of kindness is not necessary and can be a risk for yourself. Which can be a sin as you do not have self respect. How would it be possible to ask for respect when you yourself do not respect you. It is easy to type and say things here, but, I have to learn what I write too. I have to learn the hard way, like I always do.
Learning the hard way is like swimming in acres of water that is either too hot (boiling) or too cold (freezing). Like I said in the previous sentences, you just have to go through it, with a thick skin, no matter how cold or hot it gets.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
one day, I will
Give me a bit of time and I know...I can produce good work. Someday, I would be a good designer. Not at this present time, not now, but, I can and I will and for that, I promise you. I might be lazy now, I might have sloppy at work now,but, one day, I will.
Monday, November 1, 2010
day 4111
I have come to a point where I delay all the difficult task that I have to do every single time...
Thursday, October 28, 2010
seems i'd see cyber again
I really don't think I can do this. I thought I could,but, I think this time, I am seriously failing. I know I have said this before and I have mentioned this nearly every semester and now I am on my final semester. I haven't done anything. I have exhibition in 2 weeks. My final straw now, would be by disappointing my parents by not graduating this semester.
My eldest took her masters and as usual did really well (very proud of her...really am). From an over achiever to the non achiever, I guess it would balance things out (just a hope). I know going to 4 countries this year was suppose to make me prepare for my finals and get as much exposure as I could, and believe me you, I did. I just don't know why I am so afraid of executing my work. I don't know why I am soo stuck. I have been stuck for months now.
My eldest took her masters and as usual did really well (very proud of her...really am). From an over achiever to the non achiever, I guess it would balance things out (just a hope). I know going to 4 countries this year was suppose to make me prepare for my finals and get as much exposure as I could, and believe me you, I did. I just don't know why I am so afraid of executing my work. I don't know why I am soo stuck. I have been stuck for months now.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
membuang masa
I was suppose to finish my assignments....but...this is what I did....to waste my time
Monday, September 27, 2010
GDD 8
The people that I have been in the same class with for almost 4 years. I think I am going to miss them ones we're done.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
i hate u
i want to go somewhere else where everybody i know here don't exist. i hate you i hate the people around you. i just wish i haven't met you. im talking about you...him...he and the other. I WANT OUT! i surrender already. you're not here anymore but i can feel your presence. the ppl you know are around me and i am not asking for it. i want you presence gone but they will not go until semester is over. I HATE YOU!
Monday, August 9, 2010
grr
Grrr...can't believe they blocked youtube and fb in college! I believe that we need to have youtube atleast to look at videos. I feel like I am in school again.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Mr. Dorian Gray
Dorian Gray! How I wish I could be as good looking as you. I have an epiphany about you in my head. I too am jealous of the fact that you met a person like Harry and I wish a person like Harry can teach me things of life and change me the way he did to you. We don't have anything in common, I just like the way Lord Henry gives his philosophies to you.
I think you are as dull as any other rich good looking men in the 19th century.
I think you are as dull as any other rich good looking men in the 19th century.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
disney love
I am not sure what love means or what love is. Love to my parents,grandparents or siblings, that I know,but, to fall in love with someone thats a different type of dramatical set altogether. A few years ago, I thought I was in love but, I was vulnerable,young and stupid. Took me awhile to realize that I was delusional.
From young of age, little girls around the world who are fortunate enough to have or watch tv would watch romantic walt disney cartoon and have heroins like snow white, cinderella, beauty and the beast to plant in their minds to be vulnerable towards men and ones there is love, you would live happily ever after. The reality of it is, love does not last, after afew years of being in a relationship or getting married it would wilt and thats when communication is harder and you would find yourself asking if you did the right thing by marrying the person.
The tragedy of it is about all these characters is that they were made in 50's,60's and 70's and men created all these characters for girls, so they would always be timid and follow the rules of men. Back then, women did not have the rights to work as managers,illustrators, or anything that they desire, they were only allowed to work low ranks such as being a secretary. So, all they could say is "yes" and never to argue with men.
Walt disney heroin characters are all too nice, too soft, all that there is that men want us to be. So, maybe they created the idea of love for us, that love means being in a relationship with someone. I think love is quite of a vague subject.
From young of age, little girls around the world who are fortunate enough to have or watch tv would watch romantic walt disney cartoon and have heroins like snow white, cinderella, beauty and the beast to plant in their minds to be vulnerable towards men and ones there is love, you would live happily ever after. The reality of it is, love does not last, after afew years of being in a relationship or getting married it would wilt and thats when communication is harder and you would find yourself asking if you did the right thing by marrying the person.
The tragedy of it is about all these characters is that they were made in 50's,60's and 70's and men created all these characters for girls, so they would always be timid and follow the rules of men. Back then, women did not have the rights to work as managers,illustrators, or anything that they desire, they were only allowed to work low ranks such as being a secretary. So, all they could say is "yes" and never to argue with men.
Walt disney heroin characters are all too nice, too soft, all that there is that men want us to be. So, maybe they created the idea of love for us, that love means being in a relationship with someone. I think love is quite of a vague subject.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
stuff myself and gain like an elephant
I am going to stuff my self before I go home. It is time to put the weight worrying aside and just eat the junk that I have bought from the evil supermarket. Supermarkets here sell delicious junk! seriously! they would always have great offers and I don't get how people here are skinny!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Things that I find sleazy guys have in common
Alright, you can say that I am one of the cheesiest girl that you have seen,but, I have realized from a long time ago that stereotype sleazy malay men have a few things in common. I am not writing to hurt anyones feelings, I just would like to write as my mind is on to it at the moment, it just clicked and I am not even sure why.For people who think they are fashionable, they just aren't. Physically, from the way they dress they would have three things in common
1. gold chain necklace, it can be white gold or just gold ( I am not sure what they are trying to show...wealth perhaps? maybe it resembles power or something...I don't know)
2. man bag...oh, correction...branded man bags...gucci,prada,louis vuitton
3. not to mention their speedboat engine malaysian made cars....which were made to annoy the neighbours at 3 o'clock in the morning on purpose.
Its just stereotypical, I don't hate any of them. I just feel all greasy and sleazy around them, thats all.
1. gold chain necklace, it can be white gold or just gold ( I am not sure what they are trying to show...wealth perhaps? maybe it resembles power or something...I don't know)
2. man bag...oh, correction...branded man bags...gucci,prada,louis vuitton
3. not to mention their speedboat engine malaysian made cars....which were made to annoy the neighbours at 3 o'clock in the morning on purpose.
Its just stereotypical, I don't hate any of them. I just feel all greasy and sleazy around them, thats all.
Friday, July 9, 2010
off to
France awaits me tomorrow...I am going to share a room with my niece. My niece saw that we were packing, she got all excited.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
just today
Stomp was just AWESOME! I can feel that they are loving what they are doing because I felt like joining them.
I have been given lists of things to buy for my sister,cousins and friends but my priority would be my sister...of course...she can't join us because she has work. Honestly, its a bore without her, because I don't really have anyone to go walking around with that wants to go where I want to go.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
gut
I was right when I say that everything is going to change after this and it is not a good change. I hate it when I have a bad feeling and it comes true.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Regent's Park
I went to Regent's Park today, the flowers were beautiful. The weather was nice and it was perfect. I do not know how to explain it,but, it was just one of those things that you feel you want to just record everything from smell, breeze, air...if only video cameras can record those things and I would just put it in my blog and you would feel what I felt.
A picture of me with the babeyh...she was already tired at this stage.
A picture of me with the babeyh...she was already tired at this stage.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
cerita orang no.1 dan orang no.2
dialog antara manusia dan manusia :
orang no.1 : ini salah ni buat lagi satu
orang no.2 : buat lagi satu yang macam mana?
orang no.1 : print lagi buat satu a3 fold satu journal
orang no.2 : ni journal ni
orang no.1 : mmg la...tapi buat lagi...macam tak cukup ni
orang no.2 : tapi tak cakap pun dari awal kena buat a3 ngan folder
orang no.1 : tu la lupa nak bagi tahu
orang no.2 : tapi saya takde jumaat ni
orang no.1: pergi mana?
orang no.2 : holiday dengan family
orang no.1 : buat la dalam 2 hari ni
orang no.2 : haaa ok la...
orang no.2 dengan selsema melelih dari hidung ke bawah sekaligus mengelap hingus nye dengan baju yg setengah koyak dan tidak semenggah setelah beberapa hari tidak tidur
orang no.1 : ini salah ni buat lagi satu
orang no.2 : buat lagi satu yang macam mana?
orang no.1 : print lagi buat satu a3 fold satu journal
orang no.2 : ni journal ni
orang no.1 : mmg la...tapi buat lagi...macam tak cukup ni
orang no.2 : tapi tak cakap pun dari awal kena buat a3 ngan folder
orang no.1 : tu la lupa nak bagi tahu
orang no.2 : tapi saya takde jumaat ni
orang no.1: pergi mana?
orang no.2 : holiday dengan family
orang no.1 : buat la dalam 2 hari ni
orang no.2 : haaa ok la...
orang no.2 dengan selsema melelih dari hidung ke bawah sekaligus mengelap hingus nye dengan baju yg setengah koyak dan tidak semenggah setelah beberapa hari tidak tidur
the stressssssssss
I am doooooooomed!!!!!! My flight is on friday morning.... I still have to submit a lot of work by thursday and I am having fever...yet i have time to blog...I feel like giving up....I can't take this anymore!....I haven't seen my friends for long and I doubt that I would have any time to see them. I am not sure if they miss me though,but, I miss them. Anyway, off to work and wish me luck!!!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
bluegh
hmph..its funny that I know im capable of doing a lot of things but, I just don't because I am too lazy
Sunday, April 4, 2010
kings of leon! wooot!
Kings of Leon is performing in Hyde Park 30th June!!!! woooooot!!!! can't wait to go!!! ok this would be my motivation for me to do work!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
grrrr
Ini adalah salah satu contoh kerja yg telah di reject dan harus di ganti oleh concept yg lain...terima kasih.
Presentation today was helll!!!!!!! 3 lecturers were attacking non stop...one of them kept badgering us about the stupid zoo negara logo. Zoo negara just changed their logo to an ugly scribble thing and it was hard to find a decent one,but, one of the lecturer made it a BIG deal out of one small stupid logo to everyone. I know we are selling zoo negara,but, if they were real clients and if we were really working for them...they would give us a copy of the logo because a logo is copyright.
My execution and my photoshop skills may not be right but it took me more than half an hour to go to the zoo and RM20 per entry to take the bloody photos. Plus, the animals were inside the cage and we can't predict what is going to happen..so, taking a perfect picture would be really tough. Atleast, understand that we did the job and give positive input. I am not saying that you can't criticize but, I am saying that you should understand that we gave effort.
I have to go back to the zoo because the lecturers hate my concept and take photos of bear prints. How the hell am I suppose to do that?! There is a gap of 7 feet between the bear and you at the zoo. How am I suppose to do take the bloody paw? The lecturer told me to tell the zookeeper to do it for me. I don't think that would be a good idea because than I would not get the pictures that I wanted. Grrr!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
sleepless nights
ape ni? baru first few weeks dah ada sleepless nights slalu end of semester baru camni...banyaknye kerjaa! takpe takpe you can do it nabila!!! kambate!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
hmph
Somehow, I know people talk bad about me. If only I knew what they say. I'd like to know because maybe I would realize and not do it again.
Monday, March 8, 2010
adorable
I am back in school after the long holidays, went to Perth and London. It was fun! I came back, apparently, and unfortunately for me, I am currently the only single one amongst my group of friends here in Cyber...hahaha...but, I met a guy. He is Indonesian and he is sooooooo adorable. He has cute curly hair and when he smiles my heart would just drop. He lives 2 floors above me. I went to his plae afew days ago, he plays the guitar reaally well, although he has only got 4 strings ( im not sure what happened to the rest) he could play a certain shade of green by incubus, on me and adelines request.
He owns a macbook as well and I saw his collection of music. He has ALL the music I have. He doesn't know a single thing about me though, cause I don;t really tell him. I don't talk to him that much,but, I know alot about him because his friends tell me alot about him and he tells me about him alot too,but, when he asks about me, I try to keep things limited,not sure why. I get really shy around people I like. We sometimes go to school together, and he is quite blur too, its really cute to see him being blur. I feel like hugging him whenever he does it. He is a great artist, I saw his building painting on the wall, and his drawing on his hand on the first day I met him. He didn't talk that much when I met him the first time,but, after that, he was the one who asks questions. I am pretty sure he doesn't like me, but, I guess I am just happy to look at him because he is adorable,cute and hot!
He owns a macbook as well and I saw his collection of music. He has ALL the music I have. He doesn't know a single thing about me though, cause I don;t really tell him. I don't talk to him that much,but, I know alot about him because his friends tell me alot about him and he tells me about him alot too,but, when he asks about me, I try to keep things limited,not sure why. I get really shy around people I like. We sometimes go to school together, and he is quite blur too, its really cute to see him being blur. I feel like hugging him whenever he does it. He is a great artist, I saw his building painting on the wall, and his drawing on his hand on the first day I met him. He didn't talk that much when I met him the first time,but, after that, he was the one who asks questions. I am pretty sure he doesn't like me, but, I guess I am just happy to look at him because he is adorable,cute and hot!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
bipolar-ism
I was curious about bipolar so, I googled it up. I wondered if it is possible to be successful when you're bipolar. So, I googled "list of people affected by bipolar"...I found out that most of the singers or actors suffer from bipolar. Does this mean that I can only be an actor,singer,artist,journalist,photographer etc all in the creative field? Kurt Cobain suffers from bipolar disorder and he is DEAD! Stephen Fry and Rusell Brand is bipolar,but,they are funny...I bet they are addicted to their highs because it gives them a lot of money and fame. Axl Rose,Nina Simone,Macy Gray,Sinead O'conner...they all suffer from bipolar...no wonder I can relate to their songs.
I took this from a blog called Bipolar and successful. This entry is quite strong for me. I have been wanting to write the same things but, couldn't. This entry is called "Have a "NO" Day".
Once upon a time, I sold my soul to the word "Yes". Perhaps it was low self esteem, or making up for my mental health shortcomings, but I always seemed to say "Ok".
And then one day, I decided to say "No", and to say it all day long. I told everyone I was having a "NO" Day. I pranced around as if in a comedy-like skit, and in the fashion of a 2 year old, smiled and said "No". Ah! what a wonderful day that was. So wonderful in fact, that "NO!" is now my favorite word.
Saying "No" feels so good that I don't even make up excuses anymore.
Saying "No" gives me the time and energy to do what I need to do, and what I want to do.
Since I learned the word no, most of those energy-sucking leaches who once claimed to be my friends have vanished. In their place is now a wonderful husband, a few good woman, family, and my cat.
"NO," I can't lend you twenty bucks. "No," I can't watch your kids. "No," I can't find out for you..." Sorry.
Stop feeling guilty about saying "No." When you stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off, trying to DO for everyone else, you will discover who really needs your help. And guess what, you will have the time and energy to do the things you need to do.
I took this from a blog called Bipolar and successful. This entry is quite strong for me. I have been wanting to write the same things but, couldn't. This entry is called "Have a "NO" Day".
Once upon a time, I sold my soul to the word "Yes". Perhaps it was low self esteem, or making up for my mental health shortcomings, but I always seemed to say "Ok".
And then one day, I decided to say "No", and to say it all day long. I told everyone I was having a "NO" Day. I pranced around as if in a comedy-like skit, and in the fashion of a 2 year old, smiled and said "No". Ah! what a wonderful day that was. So wonderful in fact, that "NO!" is now my favorite word.
Saying "No" feels so good that I don't even make up excuses anymore.
Saying "No" gives me the time and energy to do what I need to do, and what I want to do.
Since I learned the word no, most of those energy-sucking leaches who once claimed to be my friends have vanished. In their place is now a wonderful husband, a few good woman, family, and my cat.
"NO," I can't lend you twenty bucks. "No," I can't watch your kids. "No," I can't find out for you..." Sorry.
Stop feeling guilty about saying "No." When you stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off, trying to DO for everyone else, you will discover who really needs your help. And guess what, you will have the time and energy to do the things you need to do.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Dear shrink,
Oh wow, I guess it is me that needs to be changed. Alright, I guess I am a klutz at everything I do. Although I would like and wish that I am perfect (unfortunately, I am not). I don't know how not to be me. I would always be in my own world 50% of my life,that is because I am constantly thinking, which is why I get blur most of the time (because my mind would not be on earth). I try to help and I try to be as nice as possible to people, I guess what this has done to myself is just being thrown off by rotten eggs and tomatoes. So, now, being mean is what I should do?
Seriously, if you have something about me on your shoulders please do tell me straight. I have always been pushed afar anyway, so, I guess if you say it to me, that might make me feel upset or might not,but, what do you or others care (unless you're my parents or sisters...they care too much they don't seem to want to let me go)...
I am Intan Nabila...I thought I was being a friend when I sheltered a friend who ran away for afew months and introduced her to my friends...I thought I was a friend when I accompanied her and went for a journey for hours to sleep at her aunt's place as her great grandmother was passing...I thought I was a friend when I shelter another friend because it was far for her to go to school...I thought I was a friend when I accompany them when others wont...I really thought I was a friend. I guess I thought wrong. Am I the only one who would miss my friends whenever I am in cyber or some place far,maybe, I am the only one sad enough to get excited whenever friends call to invite me out because I genuinely miss them.Yeah, if it was someone else maybe they would. The thing is, I genuinely like talking,laughing,playing games,lazying around with them...but, yet again, who am I? what am I?
Sometimes, people think they have got me all figured out,but, the truth is, they have no idea. It is true that I can be VERY transparent, but, I guess the things that I think is positive would usually end up being bad.
P.s/ : I am not saying I am ungrateful about my family wanting to protect,care and love me. I am grateful...very grateful indeed,but, this is a topic of friends.
Seriously, if you have something about me on your shoulders please do tell me straight. I have always been pushed afar anyway, so, I guess if you say it to me, that might make me feel upset or might not,but, what do you or others care (unless you're my parents or sisters...they care too much they don't seem to want to let me go)...
I am Intan Nabila...I thought I was being a friend when I sheltered a friend who ran away for afew months and introduced her to my friends...I thought I was a friend when I accompanied her and went for a journey for hours to sleep at her aunt's place as her great grandmother was passing...I thought I was a friend when I shelter another friend because it was far for her to go to school...I thought I was a friend when I accompany them when others wont...I really thought I was a friend. I guess I thought wrong. Am I the only one who would miss my friends whenever I am in cyber or some place far,maybe, I am the only one sad enough to get excited whenever friends call to invite me out because I genuinely miss them.Yeah, if it was someone else maybe they would. The thing is, I genuinely like talking,laughing,playing games,lazying around with them...but, yet again, who am I? what am I?
Sometimes, people think they have got me all figured out,but, the truth is, they have no idea. It is true that I can be VERY transparent, but, I guess the things that I think is positive would usually end up being bad.
P.s/ : I am not saying I am ungrateful about my family wanting to protect,care and love me. I am grateful...very grateful indeed,but, this is a topic of friends.
Friday, January 29, 2010
A B C ?
Around a week ago, I was reading TIMES Almanac,it was called "The world's nation from A to Z" they made a research on the worlds population,language,types of government etc. Being a proud Malaysian, I quickly turned the page to see how Malaysia is like (even if I am from and live here), I was quite shocked to see that Malaysia rates 74% in literacy.To me, this is a great disappointment and it is quite disturbing as to how our future would be like. I doubt that they include those with disabilities in this,because, next to ALL our neighbors, we rate the lowest. I have to admit I need to brush up on my language and read a lot more,but, I got my education and would not know how to type this entry without it. 22% of people do not know how to, and this saddens me.
According to UNICEF 125,000 kids or more do not go to school. Maybe they want to learn, but, do not have the money or maybe they would have to travel more than 10 kilometers to go to school. I don't think it is necessary to wait for the government to do anything as they are not doing anything at this moment. So, I would try to do something small first and hope to do it properly and not just leave it later.
I am going to check out the mosque's library tomorrow,I would need to see if I can do anything to encourage people around the neighborhood to read. This means that I would have to have a lot of determination. Like my parents, I want the non-muslims to go to the library as well,but, I am not sure if the community is open enough to let the non-muslims enter the mosque and I am not sure if the non-muslims would want to enter the mosque either. Perhaps it would be asking too much,but, I've got to do something.
Warning : I might..might... be asking any of you...you might be some random person on the street for some hand.
According to UNICEF 125,000 kids or more do not go to school. Maybe they want to learn, but, do not have the money or maybe they would have to travel more than 10 kilometers to go to school. I don't think it is necessary to wait for the government to do anything as they are not doing anything at this moment. So, I would try to do something small first and hope to do it properly and not just leave it later.
I am going to check out the mosque's library tomorrow,I would need to see if I can do anything to encourage people around the neighborhood to read. This means that I would have to have a lot of determination. Like my parents, I want the non-muslims to go to the library as well,but, I am not sure if the community is open enough to let the non-muslims enter the mosque and I am not sure if the non-muslims would want to enter the mosque either. Perhaps it would be asking too much,but, I've got to do something.
Warning : I might..might... be asking any of you...you might be some random person on the street for some hand.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
things to do
I have a list of things to do,
1. I have yet to buy a new laptop because I wish to play games and a slightly bigger screen as it would be easier for me to do work.
2. My cousin has invited me to Ipoh,Tambun to go climbing,of course I am excited,but, I have not been climbing properly at all, half an hour in the gym does not really count.
3. I need to upgrade my computer.
Maybe that is not a lot.
1. I have yet to buy a new laptop because I wish to play games and a slightly bigger screen as it would be easier for me to do work.
2. My cousin has invited me to Ipoh,Tambun to go climbing,of course I am excited,but, I have not been climbing properly at all, half an hour in the gym does not really count.
3. I need to upgrade my computer.
Maybe that is not a lot.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
a new crush
I haven't been having a crush for awhile, I think I might have a crush on someone. Yeay! hahaha...I thought I lost my capability of having a crush,but, I think I would have to see or talk to him again to make sure.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
My grandfather Abu Bakar bin Kamat
I am very grateful to have the family that I have,the grandparents,parents,sisters,aunties,uncles and cousins alike. At young of age,my cousins,sisters and I were raised and taken care of by a team of people. My grandfather plays a big role in our lives. A humble,warm,gentle and a lot more. I am very lucky to have a grandfather who cares about all of us.
He would give us each newspaper cuttings of exercises, if we had any major exams like UPSR,PMR or SPM, up until now, he would still give me books on how to improve my vocabulary,presentation skills or anything that has relations to advertising. He would do the same to my cousins. He would even call me up to give me words of wisdom when I had my first major break up, although he is a grandfather, he is indeed very understanding.
Yesterday, my sister went on a google search and found an article of a man who quote him, it was about unity. My grandfather,(if i'm not mistaken) introduced 'muhibah'(unity) to the nation even before the 13th May incident. I can't post the article here, I am not sure why.
This is what my sister wrote about my grandfather in her poem. I wrote this entry inspired by both of my sisters. I would stop writing as her poem would say it all.
To my Tok Bah, who taught me to love words.
When I was little
I knew with absolute
certainty
(Children can afford absolutes):
My Tok Bah was
Santa Claus
It was not just
The uncanny resemblance
Or a child’s affinity
for the fantastic.
It was the generosity
Bordering on self-sacrifice
The big booming laugh
That erupts from
a good yarn or
a grandchild’s antics
The goodwill
To all mankind
And animal-kind, too
(I remember feeding stray dogs and cats
I ate the cats’ rice once)
And always
The gentle, gentle
Lessons:
Be kind
To kings and paupers alike
Be generous
Things are just
Things
Be polite
Even if you disagree
(Especially if you disagree)
Be grateful
If you have family
You have
Everything.
My Tok Bah
Sends us handwritten letters
and newspaper clippings
Economics for me
Gross medical stories for the young doctor
Arts and graphics for those of us
infinitely more creative.
None of us are millionaires
But we are worth more
than mere money.
In his eyes, we are
Einsteins
Flemings
Picassos
(even Central Bank Governors)
Who needs a Nobel Prize, now?
If I live to be 80
(My Tok Bah will be soon, inshallah)
I will never forget
the benediction
of a gentle pat on the head
and a “pot sikit”
And always, the messages –
They’ve seen us through
Frigid winters
Heated exchanges
Difficult lectures
Horrid bosses:
“Usaha dan tawakkal!”
“I am confident you can do it!”
“Maju terus maju!”
I don’t say this enough
And I should
(Knowing that it still isn’t enough):
We love you, Tok Bah
And thank you.
He would give us each newspaper cuttings of exercises, if we had any major exams like UPSR,PMR or SPM, up until now, he would still give me books on how to improve my vocabulary,presentation skills or anything that has relations to advertising. He would do the same to my cousins. He would even call me up to give me words of wisdom when I had my first major break up, although he is a grandfather, he is indeed very understanding.
Yesterday, my sister went on a google search and found an article of a man who quote him, it was about unity. My grandfather,(if i'm not mistaken) introduced 'muhibah'(unity) to the nation even before the 13th May incident. I can't post the article here, I am not sure why.
This is what my sister wrote about my grandfather in her poem. I wrote this entry inspired by both of my sisters. I would stop writing as her poem would say it all.
To my Tok Bah, who taught me to love words.
When I was little
I knew with absolute
certainty
(Children can afford absolutes):
My Tok Bah was
Santa Claus
It was not just
The uncanny resemblance
Or a child’s affinity
for the fantastic.
It was the generosity
Bordering on self-sacrifice
The big booming laugh
That erupts from
a good yarn or
a grandchild’s antics
The goodwill
To all mankind
And animal-kind, too
(I remember feeding stray dogs and cats
I ate the cats’ rice once)
And always
The gentle, gentle
Lessons:
Be kind
To kings and paupers alike
Be generous
Things are just
Things
Be polite
Even if you disagree
(Especially if you disagree)
Be grateful
If you have family
You have
Everything.
My Tok Bah
Sends us handwritten letters
and newspaper clippings
Economics for me
Gross medical stories for the young doctor
Arts and graphics for those of us
infinitely more creative.
None of us are millionaires
But we are worth more
than mere money.
In his eyes, we are
Einsteins
Flemings
Picassos
(even Central Bank Governors)
Who needs a Nobel Prize, now?
If I live to be 80
(My Tok Bah will be soon, inshallah)
I will never forget
the benediction
of a gentle pat on the head
and a “pot sikit”
And always, the messages –
They’ve seen us through
Frigid winters
Heated exchanges
Difficult lectures
Horrid bosses:
“Usaha dan tawakkal!”
“I am confident you can do it!”
“Maju terus maju!”
I don’t say this enough
And I should
(Knowing that it still isn’t enough):
We love you, Tok Bah
And thank you.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
My sister's short story
Since my family on my father's side is originally from KL, my sister wrote a short story of my great (i am not sure how many great's ) grandfather's house in Kampung Baru (it is still there,standing alone with cats and no living soul inside) which is really sad because it has been there for hundreds of years. Here goes my sisters short story in city of shared stories kuala lumpur, the title Kera's kangkang. Please do read.
http://cityofsharedstorieskualalumpur.com/story/title/keras-kangkang/
http://cityofsharedstorieskualalumpur.com/story/title/keras-kangkang/
Saturday, January 16, 2010
starting climbing from scratch
I have not been climbing for soo long that I am not sure if I remember how to even tie the rope,which would be dangerous,but, to start back means that I would need to start from scratch. I was atleast 6a or 5c in french grading system,but I think I would need to go back and start 3 or 4 routes. Maybe I would go bouldering more often to get back my strength as my arms often get weak. I would start next week.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
A book called Yasmin Ahmad's Films
I think it is more of a norm for a modern 20 year old to not sleep at 5 or 6 am in the morning. I have been online and I have seen twitters or facebook status saying things like "i have insomnia" or "its 6am and I am still awake" well probably not in those specific words, but, more or less so. I have tried to make myself to sleep, but, obviously it has not been working, also the fact that I have "accidentally" forgotten to take my pill "buddy" S-Q does not help with the sleeping either.
"Amir Muhammad's book" taken somwhere from the internet :D
So, in my attempt of "trying" to sleep, I decided to read Amir Muhammad's book on Yasmin Ahmad's Film and yes the title of the book is "Yasmin Ahmad's Films". Since young of age my parents and sisters have encouraged me to read his articles. Not only that we read his articles (or rather I had to read one of his articles aloud in front of them) but, also, my sister had a HUGE crush on him and in the end, she found out he was gay,but, still pins a picture of us my sister and I together with him on her cork board in her bedroom. Which was taken when I was about 9. I think if she were to read this I would be slaughtered and yelled at,but, if and I say if he reads this immature article he would laugh not at my sister but at the fact that some "girl" now woman had a crush on him.
TalenTime (taken somewhere from the internet)
Enough about my sister and her ex-crush. This book was written just a month after Yasmin Ahdmad's funeral. I think his opinions are very much of what my opinions would be like,but, with better writing skills. I would always look forward to her films and advertisements as she never fails to touch the souls of others especially us Malaysians. When I was reading the book, he reminded me that Malaysian films do not have people reading books and the reality of it all most Malaysians do not read (sometimes include myself) which in my mind concludes that most of us seek through visual medias, therefore, we should have quality productions rather than films like "bohsia" or any other films by Yusof Haslam and generate put good values in like what Yasmin Ahdmad did in most of her film. For instance giving a help to a prostitute by teaching her how to read Iqra' (a learning book of Arabic scripts/alphabets). Maybe than people would start to learn and read again,maybe than we could finally reach out to the minds of the narrow. My father would always say that education and reading would make us go far. Which is true and I never follow as I am very stubborn.
Talentime again (I am just taking random pictures...I am not sure which picture would be suitable for this entry..plus, I haven't gotten any sleep so I am trying to speed things up)
I think I shall stop, my sister made me pancakes for breakfast. I would go on and on,but, I doubt that this entry would lead me to anywhere,but, I am just trying to share what I think and it is still NOT ENOUGH. I want change. I wish I could start a revolution. Why? Open up your eyes and see, if you look wide enough you would see huge holes and cracks ( I am not sure if that made sense to you) but, it would take me hours to tell you what I mean.
Alright this one last life story of my father just to prove a bit of a point. My father who is in his 50's has been friends with his Chinese and Indian friends since primary school and when I say since meaning they are still friends. What I am trying to say is that kids nowadays which means my generation prefers not to mix around. I remember in school there are segregation between the malays the chinese and the indian. I would only see one or two malays sitting in a crowd of chinese and indian. Which saddens me because I know that it would be worst if nothing is done. I know that the gap would be further even in school.
"Amir Muhammad's book" taken somwhere from the internet :D
So, in my attempt of "trying" to sleep, I decided to read Amir Muhammad's book on Yasmin Ahmad's Film and yes the title of the book is "Yasmin Ahmad's Films". Since young of age my parents and sisters have encouraged me to read his articles. Not only that we read his articles (or rather I had to read one of his articles aloud in front of them) but, also, my sister had a HUGE crush on him and in the end, she found out he was gay,but, still pins a picture of us my sister and I together with him on her cork board in her bedroom. Which was taken when I was about 9. I think if she were to read this I would be slaughtered and yelled at,but, if and I say if he reads this immature article he would laugh not at my sister but at the fact that some "girl" now woman had a crush on him.
TalenTime (taken somewhere from the internet)
Enough about my sister and her ex-crush. This book was written just a month after Yasmin Ahdmad's funeral. I think his opinions are very much of what my opinions would be like,but, with better writing skills. I would always look forward to her films and advertisements as she never fails to touch the souls of others especially us Malaysians. When I was reading the book, he reminded me that Malaysian films do not have people reading books and the reality of it all most Malaysians do not read (sometimes include myself) which in my mind concludes that most of us seek through visual medias, therefore, we should have quality productions rather than films like "bohsia" or any other films by Yusof Haslam and generate put good values in like what Yasmin Ahdmad did in most of her film. For instance giving a help to a prostitute by teaching her how to read Iqra' (a learning book of Arabic scripts/alphabets). Maybe than people would start to learn and read again,maybe than we could finally reach out to the minds of the narrow. My father would always say that education and reading would make us go far. Which is true and I never follow as I am very stubborn.
Talentime again (I am just taking random pictures...I am not sure which picture would be suitable for this entry..plus, I haven't gotten any sleep so I am trying to speed things up)
I think I shall stop, my sister made me pancakes for breakfast. I would go on and on,but, I doubt that this entry would lead me to anywhere,but, I am just trying to share what I think and it is still NOT ENOUGH. I want change. I wish I could start a revolution. Why? Open up your eyes and see, if you look wide enough you would see huge holes and cracks ( I am not sure if that made sense to you) but, it would take me hours to tell you what I mean.
Alright this one last life story of my father just to prove a bit of a point. My father who is in his 50's has been friends with his Chinese and Indian friends since primary school and when I say since meaning they are still friends. What I am trying to say is that kids nowadays which means my generation prefers not to mix around. I remember in school there are segregation between the malays the chinese and the indian. I would only see one or two malays sitting in a crowd of chinese and indian. Which saddens me because I know that it would be worst if nothing is done. I know that the gap would be further even in school.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
A noob's point of view
I am not sure if it is jet lag...but, I slept for an hour and a half or so and I am fully awake. What I miss the most about London apart from my sister,niece and brother in law is playing Modern Warfare with my brother in law in Xbox (of course the Xbox is his). Tried playing everyday but, unfortunately my sisters and parents wanted to watch tv.
Even if I have finished campaign as it is quite of a short story. I have not been able to fulfill my mission in special ops. I still have to unlock delta and echo, not only that I have not played bravo in a veteran level.I have to admit I am a noob, but, everybody starts to play as a noob first. Now, I can't play this game at home as I use macbook and there is no space in my living room computer. I also doubt that my dad would encourage me playing games. Why am I talking about this? ouh,urh I miss it!
L4D2 is not that bad, played it almost everyday too..the best part of the game is the fact that you get to use melee weapons. My favorite melee weapon would be the chainsaw.. the downside of it is the fact that it runs out of gas. My other favorite melee weapon would be the samurai sword as it slashes the heads of the zombies within one go,I find the axe quite useful too. My least favorite would be the guitar as I find it quite hard to kill zombies. They have made quite a number of changes, like the amount of zombies. I was quite surprise when A LOT of the main zombies come at the same time as the other zombies in the middle of the game,but,they have also put A LOT of weapons in the second one,which is cool, because we did not have that much of choice in the first. Hunter has slightly toned down his capability of being fast in the second one. I am glad that the plumber dies faster than tank. There are also missions such as putting 8 gas/petrol into the car at the end of the game.
The reason why I am writing this is because I did not get to share my views for the games in London to anyone. Therefore, like it or not, I am writing it.
Little Big Planet is an awesomely cute game. Anyone who has PS3 SHOULD have or buy little big planet. What is so awesome about the game is not just the fact that you get to escape into a different world,but, it is really fun. It may look easy, but, once you play it,it can be quite tough. In the game, you are able to customize your own character and also decorate your box. It is a game both for boys and girls. There is a whole world out there in little big planet,so, you are able to choose which part of the world yo want to accomplish, it is a 3D game. Different expressions can also be made,which is cute.
Even if I have finished campaign as it is quite of a short story. I have not been able to fulfill my mission in special ops. I still have to unlock delta and echo, not only that I have not played bravo in a veteran level.I have to admit I am a noob, but, everybody starts to play as a noob first. Now, I can't play this game at home as I use macbook and there is no space in my living room computer. I also doubt that my dad would encourage me playing games. Why am I talking about this? ouh,urh I miss it!
L4D2 is not that bad, played it almost everyday too..the best part of the game is the fact that you get to use melee weapons. My favorite melee weapon would be the chainsaw.. the downside of it is the fact that it runs out of gas. My other favorite melee weapon would be the samurai sword as it slashes the heads of the zombies within one go,I find the axe quite useful too. My least favorite would be the guitar as I find it quite hard to kill zombies. They have made quite a number of changes, like the amount of zombies. I was quite surprise when A LOT of the main zombies come at the same time as the other zombies in the middle of the game,but,they have also put A LOT of weapons in the second one,which is cool, because we did not have that much of choice in the first. Hunter has slightly toned down his capability of being fast in the second one. I am glad that the plumber dies faster than tank. There are also missions such as putting 8 gas/petrol into the car at the end of the game.
The reason why I am writing this is because I did not get to share my views for the games in London to anyone. Therefore, like it or not, I am writing it.
Little Big Planet is an awesomely cute game. Anyone who has PS3 SHOULD have or buy little big planet. What is so awesome about the game is not just the fact that you get to escape into a different world,but, it is really fun. It may look easy, but, once you play it,it can be quite tough. In the game, you are able to customize your own character and also decorate your box. It is a game both for boys and girls. There is a whole world out there in little big planet,so, you are able to choose which part of the world yo want to accomplish, it is a 3D game. Different expressions can also be made,which is cute.
Zooey deschanel and alison mosshart
Zooey Dechanel my style icon, not after 500 days of summer but after failure to launch with Sarah Jessica and Mathe Mcconauhey. Unlike her I don't have the upper asset,so, I would have to tone down a bit. I have not been able to shop that much as my parents give me a strict amount of money in Malaysia. After much day dreaming, thank you to my parents they allowed me to shop a bit in London. I am lucky that my mother have kept most of her vintage bags, so, buying and spending for hand bags would not be necessary.
One of my other style icon would be Alison Mosshart(VV). I love the way she mixes her clothes and accessories.
Thanks to her sister Tasha who would constantly give her inspiration/ideas/remind (I have very shallow memory..my memory is the same size as a bird..sadly) or introduce me to celebs.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
London and no curtin for me
Dear readers (not even sure if I have one), but hey! I haven't been writing or blogging for quite a bit. What I have missed out on my life journey of a journal is that I went to London for a month and a half and came back rather sick on the outside but, satisfied and happy on the inside. My niece has grown and she has learned quite a number of words which I am grateful for and proud of. The journey has loads of ups and downs but enjoyed it most of the time. Despite the fact that the weather was utterly cold,the fact that my mom was pick pocketed and I was hospitalized (was checked by a hot doctor,which I wont experience here in KL). I loved it there. I had my whole bunch of family plus cousins with me, so, I am very glad they came.
I have a few things that I love and dislike about London and my whole experience there. First, it brought my uncle and aunty in talking terms with my parents again. (Hooray!!) They have not been in talking terms in 5 years and my uncle came to my sisters house,they even went shopping together. (very glad indeed).
Second, we (cousins and I) went to London about 9 years ago, so, it was fun to recap what we did there together 9 years ago.
Third, I am very glad that my niece is in preschool now. Her teacher and school nurse came to my sisters house and they seem very professional. I hope she gets to learn more there.
Forth, The museums were brilliant! They have the best museums I have EVER and it was FREE!
Fifth, The deserts were mouth watering. I did not stop eating at ALL. It was chocolates, pastries and dairy products everyday.
Sixth, I had my first snow experience. For the first few times yeah it was fun, after that, it became all too cold and muddy,so, yeah, enjoyed parts of it.
I am not going to study in Perth as my parents think that I am not ready to go study alone overseas. Which is bad news,but, I would live with it. I got the offer letter and would be going to Perth this February for my sisters graduation. I am not sure how I would feel when I see Curtin and knowing that I am just one step further. My parents told me that I would be going to London again in summer to see my niece. I guess its the replacement of me not going to Curtin. I guess they know what they are doing, I can be clumsy and irresponsible.
I wish my grandfather could tag along,but, I don't think he is in any condition to walk about anymore. I wish we could do this every year! Its not that we do not have fun here in Malaysia,but, its a whole different experience. Again, I am grateful to have the family that I have and love them for them.
I have a few things that I love and dislike about London and my whole experience there. First, it brought my uncle and aunty in talking terms with my parents again. (Hooray!!) They have not been in talking terms in 5 years and my uncle came to my sisters house,they even went shopping together. (very glad indeed).
Second, we (cousins and I) went to London about 9 years ago, so, it was fun to recap what we did there together 9 years ago.
Third, I am very glad that my niece is in preschool now. Her teacher and school nurse came to my sisters house and they seem very professional. I hope she gets to learn more there.
Forth, The museums were brilliant! They have the best museums I have EVER and it was FREE!
Fifth, The deserts were mouth watering. I did not stop eating at ALL. It was chocolates, pastries and dairy products everyday.
Sixth, I had my first snow experience. For the first few times yeah it was fun, after that, it became all too cold and muddy,so, yeah, enjoyed parts of it.
I am not going to study in Perth as my parents think that I am not ready to go study alone overseas. Which is bad news,but, I would live with it. I got the offer letter and would be going to Perth this February for my sisters graduation. I am not sure how I would feel when I see Curtin and knowing that I am just one step further. My parents told me that I would be going to London again in summer to see my niece. I guess its the replacement of me not going to Curtin. I guess they know what they are doing, I can be clumsy and irresponsible.
I wish my grandfather could tag along,but, I don't think he is in any condition to walk about anymore. I wish we could do this every year! Its not that we do not have fun here in Malaysia,but, its a whole different experience. Again, I am grateful to have the family that I have and love them for them.
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