I am going to whine like I always do and say that...I WANT A BB!!! everyone I know has one. :( Don't get me wrong...I looove my xbox but,I think I am going to collect some money when I work and get one. BB curve is also good, as long as I can communicate around with that expensive phone that everyone has would be good.
Seems that everyone who has it can't get off it. I realized that it has become a social need to have it. Especially if you are a girl. I am not sure if this is a good sign or bad, but, my phone is stone age compared to bb.
My parents don't understand it, and it is hard to explain to them how a phone
can change social needs. I don't think they care either, they are just glad that my phone is reachable when I don't loose it, goes out of battery or switch it off. They just want to call me and tell me "get home early!!" "its late" "come home now" and anything with that relation.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Monday, December 13, 2010
college pregrad
My 4 years of college has led me into disastrous mishaps and at the same time pleasure happiness (quite a journey). Towards the end, it is more of the mishaps than the whimsical feeling of joy. Personally, I have always hated change, it makes me rethink about the plans that I have made for myself. No matter how much time you plan your future or life you may not know how the weather may turn out to be.
Writing this post gave me flashes of harsh memories that I would love to discard. I wish that I would be able to erase certain parts of memories that exist in my head. Exactly like the movie "eternal sunshine" or perhaps the memory charm "obliviate" in "harry potter". Some of my friends told me that I would become a stronger person by swallowing bits and pieces of the harsh reality.
The other side of me is just afraid that I would only become crazier and not stronger. Of course, I have my ways of keeping harsh details away. At certain points, everybody does and will. I would be graduating in 4 days, and I still do not feel the enthusiasm nor the excitement. I just pretend that I am happy that I am graduating,but, I feel closed and trapped.
Although, some may think that I am weak, but, I rather think I am the other way around. I surprise myself sometimes with my own attitude. I am capable of doing a lot of things,but, I tend to have doubts on myself. Self believe can be as low to the amount of zero when it comes to me. I have to learn to believe in myself, when I know how to, I'd be able to pursue any dream that I desire.
Writing this post gave me flashes of harsh memories that I would love to discard. I wish that I would be able to erase certain parts of memories that exist in my head. Exactly like the movie "eternal sunshine" or perhaps the memory charm "obliviate" in "harry potter". Some of my friends told me that I would become a stronger person by swallowing bits and pieces of the harsh reality.
The other side of me is just afraid that I would only become crazier and not stronger. Of course, I have my ways of keeping harsh details away. At certain points, everybody does and will. I would be graduating in 4 days, and I still do not feel the enthusiasm nor the excitement. I just pretend that I am happy that I am graduating,but, I feel closed and trapped.
Although, some may think that I am weak, but, I rather think I am the other way around. I surprise myself sometimes with my own attitude. I am capable of doing a lot of things,but, I tend to have doubts on myself. Self believe can be as low to the amount of zero when it comes to me. I have to learn to believe in myself, when I know how to, I'd be able to pursue any dream that I desire.
Monday, December 6, 2010
anything
if i can go through whatever i am going through myself right now....i can go through anything....
Friday, December 3, 2010
making it through
Life is staged with glorious,mundane,sadness,difficulty etc but, it is all within your will to go through it. Nothing remains the same, life is full of surprises, the surprises that come to you would not always be what you want. No matter how good or how bad it is, when it is there, you can never change it. Which is why it is called fate.
When you believe in religion and you have bad news or surprises, you would believe that it is all written and we have a reason to believe so. When we don't believe in fate and how its written, our minds would be empty and would not have any path, therefore, we would make short term decisions, such as.....death.
The will to survive, is a powerful thing to endure. When we realize that the world isn't what it seems. That is when you get scared and fragile but, showing it to others would make you weak. Therefore, it is you who are responsible to have the ability to keep on moving towards the final destination.
I have learned something. I have learned that giving too much is not the tool of survival. It is an act of selflessness, kindness and a humble gift,but, when you do not give the right things to the right people that is when the act of kindness is not necessary and can be a risk for yourself. Which can be a sin as you do not have self respect. How would it be possible to ask for respect when you yourself do not respect you. It is easy to type and say things here, but, I have to learn what I write too. I have to learn the hard way, like I always do.
Learning the hard way is like swimming in acres of water that is either too hot (boiling) or too cold (freezing). Like I said in the previous sentences, you just have to go through it, with a thick skin, no matter how cold or hot it gets.
When you believe in religion and you have bad news or surprises, you would believe that it is all written and we have a reason to believe so. When we don't believe in fate and how its written, our minds would be empty and would not have any path, therefore, we would make short term decisions, such as.....death.
The will to survive, is a powerful thing to endure. When we realize that the world isn't what it seems. That is when you get scared and fragile but, showing it to others would make you weak. Therefore, it is you who are responsible to have the ability to keep on moving towards the final destination.
I have learned something. I have learned that giving too much is not the tool of survival. It is an act of selflessness, kindness and a humble gift,but, when you do not give the right things to the right people that is when the act of kindness is not necessary and can be a risk for yourself. Which can be a sin as you do not have self respect. How would it be possible to ask for respect when you yourself do not respect you. It is easy to type and say things here, but, I have to learn what I write too. I have to learn the hard way, like I always do.
Learning the hard way is like swimming in acres of water that is either too hot (boiling) or too cold (freezing). Like I said in the previous sentences, you just have to go through it, with a thick skin, no matter how cold or hot it gets.
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