Monday, February 15, 2010

bipolar-ism

I was curious about bipolar so, I googled it up. I wondered if it is possible to be successful when you're bipolar. So, I googled "list of people affected by bipolar"...I found out that most of the singers or actors suffer from bipolar. Does this mean that I can only be an actor,singer,artist,journalist,photographer etc all in the creative field? Kurt Cobain suffers from bipolar disorder and he is DEAD! Stephen Fry and Rusell Brand is bipolar,but,they are funny...I bet they are addicted to their highs because it gives them a lot of money and fame. Axl Rose,Nina Simone,Macy Gray,Sinead O'conner...they all suffer from bipolar...no wonder I can relate to their songs.




I took this from a blog called Bipolar and successful. This entry is quite strong for me. I have been wanting to write the same things but, couldn't. This entry is called "Have a "NO" Day".

Once upon a time, I sold my soul to the word "Yes". Perhaps it was low self esteem, or making up for my mental health shortcomings, but I always seemed to say "Ok".

And then one day, I decided to say "No", and to say it all day long. I told everyone I was having a "NO" Day. I pranced around as if in a comedy-like skit, and in the fashion of a 2 year old, smiled and said "No". Ah! what a wonderful day that was. So wonderful in fact, that "NO!" is now my favorite word.

Saying "No" feels so good that I don't even make up excuses anymore.
Saying "No" gives me the time and energy to do what I need to do, and what I want to do.

Since I learned the word no, most of those energy-sucking leaches who once claimed to be my friends have vanished. In their place is now a wonderful husband, a few good woman, family, and my cat.

"NO," I can't lend you twenty bucks. "No," I can't watch your kids. "No," I can't find out for you..." Sorry.

Stop feeling guilty about saying "No." When you stop running around like a chicken with your head cut off, trying to DO for everyone else, you will discover who really needs your help. And guess what, you will have the time and energy to do the things you need to do.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

aaaaah

aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaHHHhhhhhHhH!!!!!! KIILL ME!!!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Dear shrink,

Oh wow, I guess it is me that needs to be changed. Alright, I guess I am a klutz at everything I do. Although I would like and wish that I am perfect (unfortunately, I am not). I don't know how not to be me. I would always be in my own world 50% of my life,that is because I am constantly thinking, which is why I get blur most of the time (because my mind would not be on earth). I try to help and I try to be as nice as possible to people, I guess what this has done to myself is just being thrown off by rotten eggs and tomatoes. So, now, being mean is what I should do?

Seriously, if you have something about me on your shoulders please do tell me straight. I have always been pushed afar anyway, so, I guess if you say it to me, that might make me feel upset or might not,but, what do you or others care (unless you're my parents or sisters...they care too much they don't seem to want to let me go)...

I am Intan Nabila...I thought I was being a friend when I sheltered a friend who ran away for afew months and introduced her to my friends...I thought I was a friend when I accompanied her and went for a journey for hours to sleep at her aunt's place as her great grandmother was passing...I thought I was a friend when I shelter another friend because it was far for her to go to school...I thought I was a friend when I accompany them when others wont...I really thought I was a friend. I guess I thought wrong. Am I the only one who would miss my friends whenever I am in cyber or some place far,maybe, I am the only one sad enough to get excited whenever friends call to invite me out because I genuinely miss them.Yeah, if it was someone else maybe they would. The thing is, I genuinely like talking,laughing,playing games,lazying around with them...but, yet again, who am I? what am I?

Sometimes, people think they have got me all figured out,but, the truth is, they have no idea. It is true that I can be VERY transparent, but, I guess the things that I think is positive would usually end up being bad.

P.s/ : I am not saying I am ungrateful about my family wanting to protect,care and love me. I am grateful...very grateful indeed,but, this is a topic of friends.