Dear shrink,

Oh wow, I guess it is me that needs to be changed. Alright, I guess I am a klutz at everything I do. Although I would like and wish that I am perfect (unfortunately, I am not). I don't know how not to be me. I would always be in my own world 50% of my life,that is because I am constantly thinking, which is why I get blur most of the time (because my mind would not be on earth). I try to help and I try to be as nice as possible to people, I guess what this has done to myself is just being thrown off by rotten eggs and tomatoes. So, now, being mean is what I should do?

Seriously, if you have something about me on your shoulders please do tell me straight. I have always been pushed afar anyway, so, I guess if you say it to me, that might make me feel upset or might not,but, what do you or others care (unless you're my parents or sisters...they care too much they don't seem to want to let me go)...

I am Intan Nabila...I thought I was being a friend when I sheltered a friend who ran away for afew months and introduced her to my friends...I thought I was a friend when I accompanied her and went for a journey for hours to sleep at her aunt's place as her great grandmother was passing...I thought I was a friend when I shelter another friend because it was far for her to go to school...I thought I was a friend when I accompany them when others wont...I really thought I was a friend. I guess I thought wrong. Am I the only one who would miss my friends whenever I am in cyber or some place far,maybe, I am the only one sad enough to get excited whenever friends call to invite me out because I genuinely miss them.Yeah, if it was someone else maybe they would. The thing is, I genuinely like talking,laughing,playing games,lazying around with them...but, yet again, who am I? what am I?

Sometimes, people think they have got me all figured out,but, the truth is, they have no idea. It is true that I can be VERY transparent, but, I guess the things that I think is positive would usually end up being bad.

P.s/ : I am not saying I am ungrateful about my family wanting to protect,care and love me. I am grateful...very grateful indeed,but, this is a topic of friends.