February the 14th, a day which most people with significant others would spend romantic outings together. I have to admit, even if I think it is overrated, how I wish it was last year. How I wish I could turn back time and love a person again. It is quite depressing to see others holding hands,getting special attention from the significant other. Oh, again, I am not being grateful. I am not fully cured...I still think about him, especially during valentines day. Yeah, it is pathetic! Very pathetic! It has been months!!!! fucking months! I don't want to be an old maid having countless cats at home. No! I don't want that. Why does he have to do those things...those stupid romantic sweet things! I cant forget!! I might sound like a whiny spoilt kid....as much as I really want to....it is damn hard to forget about him.
I tried, tried having a rebound,but, it does not work that way. As much as I thought I was strong physically in climbing, I thought I was strong at heart too. I thought by now, I am almost there and I was happy for myself just for awhile. Happy that finally! god! finally! I am free to let him go! but, I still look forward to see him online, I would still be happy if I get to talk to him. Id instantly would be a perky daft girl if I see him online. I should not feel happy! no! I am afraid of deleting him from messenger, because I am afraid that Id loose the contact...any contact with him...which I don't want. He has a bloody girlfriend...!!!! argh!
Enough! I went out with my friends, which was quite pleasant. Shareen is going away,so, we decided to gather around. I could not stop laughing as Linda, Kat and Sarah was making jokes, especially in the car. I forgot about him for awhile when I was with them, I am glad that I went out with them. I really am glad.
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