a burden

Good morning!! Well, here I am at home,feeling rather slow and mellow. I feel quite emotional today and what triggered it is probably a typical hormonal problem women suffer every month. I was quite mad at myself, why? you may ask. I just realized that I am incapable of taking care of myself, at all. This saddens me, as my dream is to travel alone, I would have to do things that will not have the involvement of any of my family members nor close friends.

I went out and slept over somewhere at my friends place, my dad, had specifically told my dear friend to take care of me. Indeed she did with the help of my other friend. My problem is that I take myself and my things for granted I think,because, I can't be that daft as to forget the valuable things such as phones and wallet every single damn time(mind you). I am suddenly thinking of the daily routines that I always do, I would forget where I put the simplest things, this definitely scares me. To anyone who is reading this, you might think that I am being overreacting or over dramatic,but, the truth of it all is that I am scared. I am 20 years old, I can't remember the simplest things in my daily life, my parents wont always be here to support me, and my sisters have their own lives to attend to.

Yes, I have to admit, I am quite fortunate to have such caring family and friends and yes, there is a but, I can't always be dependent to them or anyone at all. I can survive alone, in cyber, and also when I go about in KL,but, what if I were to be in Australia next year, would I be able to take care of myself? Cyber isn't far at all, its barely half an hour from home, calling wouldnt be a problem at all. The truth, I dont like to be a burden to people, I feel guilty when I can't drive (which is why I prefer taking public transport), guilty for my friends that have to bear with me forgetting valuable things, guilty that my dad has to tell people at the age of 20 to take care of me. I feel useless as to my being of growing up. I need to do something about this, I can't keep forgetting. I hate being a burden to anyone.