This isn't working...I need to make the next massive move....test the waters again and just dive in...I don't care if I need to restart and I don't care if my parents or family approve or disapprove my next decision...if I fail...than, I would have to pick myself up again and go on...this whole thing about beating myself up has gotta stop.
I have to be firm and stop being afraid to be firm. The fear of being firm is the reason why I am beating myself up all the time. I really need to learn how to stop pleasing the goddamn world and just say whatever it is in my head. There isn't only one colour in this world and not every colour would match, therefore, if it doesn't match, it doesn't mean it is wrong, it just means that I need to find the right colour all over again...even if it means picking through every single code.
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