Somehow, it is hard to forget major things that happened in your life. Especially when you want to talk to someone about it and hope that at least one person would understand,but, I know that as long as the person hasn't gone through it, they wouldn't know what it feels or how it was.
Some days, you feel like sharing, but, when you want to pour it out, you would eventually hold back because there would never be a right timing for it. Even if you do tell them, you would know what they would say, because no one would know how to react to it. The reason is simple, because they haven't been there. It is fairly inappropriate for them too, that must be understood.
Which makes you feel so alone as you have no choice but to keep it in you. Telling yourself to be strong, day by day, week by week and living life, making it interesting so that you would feel good about yourself again.
Knowing that it was the past, you try harder to forget, by keeping yourself busy with hobbies. Hoping that it would be discarded,but, eventually it would never be gone, at least not permanently though. Even if you've told people, just for the sake of making your life at ease, you can't help but to feel judged after that.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
what if i am a boy
This is strange and stupid of me,but, I was walking around the house and ignoring the furnitures in the house, because it doesn't fascinate me that much anymore as I have seen it practically everyday. Unless if I go to one of the drawers and take things out from it and find something that is interesting or something that would make me reminisce, but, that would just make a mess out of the place and I would have to put everything back and I am in no mood for that as I am always being a sloth.
Anyway, when I was walking around the house, I wondered, what would happen if I am a boy. Not that it is possible or that I wanted so much to be one. I just wondered, I like to wonder daft things like that sometimes, than when someone asked me anything. I would just go numb and say slow things like "huh" "what" or repeat the wrong things, that annoys people a lot sometimes, I can tell, but, it annoys me too because they would just give up and I would wonder what they said before.
Right now, me being myself as a girl, my love life has become nonchalant. I am not sure if any guy at all likes me, before, when I was in high school, at least there were signs of guys who liked me and it was pretty obvious too, but, now, I just don't know anything, like no one I know gave any signs or whatsoever. So, if I am a boy, would I have a girlfriend by now? Would I treat girls nicely? Would I have curfews like I have right now? Which school would I go to? An old boys school or a co-ad school? Would I get bullied or be the bullier? Would I be a nerd, a geek, or a cool guy that hangs around with cool crowds? Would I be alright with two elder sisters? The questions would go on without any stop. Of course, the questions would not go anywhere because it will never exist.
These things are pointless and a waste of my small brain space. I don't know why I typed it all out. I guess I just wanted to share and figured my mind would be off it somehow and maybe, the days of thinking brainlessly at night before I go to sleep would go today.
Anyway, when I was walking around the house, I wondered, what would happen if I am a boy. Not that it is possible or that I wanted so much to be one. I just wondered, I like to wonder daft things like that sometimes, than when someone asked me anything. I would just go numb and say slow things like "huh" "what" or repeat the wrong things, that annoys people a lot sometimes, I can tell, but, it annoys me too because they would just give up and I would wonder what they said before.
Right now, me being myself as a girl, my love life has become nonchalant. I am not sure if any guy at all likes me, before, when I was in high school, at least there were signs of guys who liked me and it was pretty obvious too, but, now, I just don't know anything, like no one I know gave any signs or whatsoever. So, if I am a boy, would I have a girlfriend by now? Would I treat girls nicely? Would I have curfews like I have right now? Which school would I go to? An old boys school or a co-ad school? Would I get bullied or be the bullier? Would I be a nerd, a geek, or a cool guy that hangs around with cool crowds? Would I be alright with two elder sisters? The questions would go on without any stop. Of course, the questions would not go anywhere because it will never exist.
These things are pointless and a waste of my small brain space. I don't know why I typed it all out. I guess I just wanted to share and figured my mind would be off it somehow and maybe, the days of thinking brainlessly at night before I go to sleep would go today.
Monday, March 7, 2011
some of the company profile
the index page of what i did for the company profile...these pages are not approved yet..so,feel free to state anything that you think if you feel like it...
the wedding page
the wedding page
Friday, March 4, 2011
venting out needed
At the moment I feel as though I need to talk to someone to vent everything out. I would usually let things out to my best friend, but, he is nowhere near me as he decided to fly off to the land below to study. I have so many things going on around me that it is over stimulating my brain. I just feel like everything that I have believed in and everything that I have hold on to is pointless in away.
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