work full stop

Basically my life revolves around...a) work b) word c) work and d) work....ahahaha...sadly, I am not exaggerating. I have a minimum of 4 hours to hang around with my friends in a week. That is if I have a lucky week. I try to sleep at least 8 hours a day, just so I don't feel tired for the following day. How I cope? Well, I honestly don't know. Why I do it? I just want to maximize my time because I use to waste it as though it was free water.

I admit that I am not a very good designer, which is why I have to struggle a bit more and I don't want to give up. I am also quite surprised because if its college I would definitely say "fuck it".

Now, for my weekend coffee shop artisan roast day. hmph....honestly, it is also tiring, but, i would try to cope.

change of mind

Yeaay for my work and I am a Junior designer, but, i still have room to grow. Frankly, I don't think that I am that old to learn. So, at the moment I don't think I mind learning everything from scratch. It is the politics that is bugging me and also the am afraid of people just using me cause I get that everywhere. Not kidding..its cause prolly I allow myself to be used...but, its ok...im learning not to let ppl use me.

I don't think I like who ever I like anymore. I have actually changed my feelings to a photographer in malay mail. There 5 photographers, therefore, I have only one photographer that I have a crush on and he takes amazing photos. I admire the fact that he is willing to climb up anywhere to get the right picture. Hmph...that is it than...

I just hope I can handle 2 jobs in one go. I am absolutely slammmed...slammed as hell!

everything in 2012

Since I can't sleep, I figured, I might as well type things out and write about what I have gone through these past few months in 2012. Let me recap, because as sad of a person that I am, I actually do re-read previous post to remember my emotions that can be quite a turbulence. Also, not to mention that I can be self absorbed (not like I am the only person in this world ends up being one). I think somehow I keep track of my emotions just by writing it in this blog.

Alright, back to what I have gone through this year...maybe...I have successfully finished my internship in Redberry. I was scared to bits when I started, as it was my first ever job in a proper office. They trust me enough to do the designs and I am grateful for it. The fact that the bosses (everyone who worked with me..I consider the whole office as my boss just because I am an intern..interns are always below the food chain...that is what my sister told me...so, I keep that in mind) treated me nicely and very friendly towards me that I got to know how small the media industry is. Yes, I learned to enjoy every bit of it, and I would like to think that I have strive to take whatever it is that they would like to offer me in the experience of a working environment.I have to thank my whole team for my experience too...everyone of them...I miss them dearly now.

I also, learned to look up to various types of people. Now, I understand that no one can be on top without striving. I know now that by working, you learn something new everyday and I am not just saying that. I think I have grown slightly confident of myself just by working. Three months of working two jobs without taking a break is harsh, but, I tend to avoid myself from unhealthy routines that way. Of course, there are also people that I need to be careful of while I am working, but, if negative things start to happen to me, I would learn how to deal with it...nothing goes smoothly and no work is easy.


Here are the memories that I have left of my internship also the only pictures that I have with them...ahahaha...just would like to share with people...you know...spreaad the luuurvee:













What about my love life? hehehe...well, I think now I am quite stable enough to have a relationship,but, I guess when it is the right time the right person will come. I don't hope for anything, well, that is a lie...what I hope for is that I hope that I won't be having 20 cats and 15 kittens living in my house without any spouse and die a cranky old maid...*knocks on wood* and it is not that I haven't tried either...I have gotten myself exes before, but, somehow, it didn't work...maybe because I was immature at that time...VERY immature..made the same mistakes over again...and now, I am just tired of those mistakes...I don't wish to regret what I have done because if I didn't do the mistakes...I would never learn. Could say that I have become a tough b***h when it comes to love,but, to repeat it would be foolish, so, I'd rather avoid it (not avoid love...just the whole mistake situation thing...i want love...its all butterflies and adrenaline and stuff)...recently (not quite recently but, this year) I told a friend that I had feelings for him...and his reply "I don't know how to respond to that"...hehe...until now, I didn't get any responds...I'd like to think that he likes being as slow as a slug when it comes to replying a girls feelings...I ended up thinking that he is not worth my thought...so, up till now, I haven't been seeing or contacting him...but, I do like someone else now...a very nice...good looking person that I admire...if I were to type about him, it'd take a lot of time and a longer post to write. I am not quite sure if he knows he is good looking,but, if he does, he is calm about it. Well, that is all...I feel like I am in high school again...I remember this feeling...the chirpy and nervousness of liking someone...never had this feeling in years...the last time i had this feeling was when I first met my ex in high school...whatever it is...wish me luck :D

not as much of a coffee addict

I just found out how insanely passionate my boss is about coffee and how he still keeps himself updated through his own research with the beans. I seriously can't call myself a barista, I can't even pull shots properly without making it taste like crap. Funny how I think I am starting to slightly get obsessed with coffee. He has a blog dedicated to coffee!

caught up

Hmph, even though I don't have any relationship with any guy besides friendship, I feel as though I am in one. Seems unrealistic, but, at the moment I am waiting for the confirmation of a job and although it has only been a week, but, I feel as though it has been a year. Yeah I am working in artisan tomorrow, which is an awesome coffee shop by ttdi.

This redberry thing is still making me anxious. If its a guy, at least I can ask him directly if he wants me or dump me, but, this is a company. Oh well, faith is in my hands I hope.

hello jobs

Well, Hello there! I see you're still alive and with outdated post. I haven't any motivation to write anything these past few weeks or months as I have been pretty caught up with my double life and my double personalities. Quite ironic how I am getting comfortable with two lives at the moment. To be honest, I am quite proud that I am able to commit to two jobs.

I can assure you that it has not been easy (at all!). I try not to complain that much as I am afraid my parents would tell me that I should stop working in starbucks and concentrate on the current intern (which they have about a million times), but, I want to work two jobs and I know that it would benefit me in some other way somehow. I am planning to quit starbucks as I have found a better and less evil coffee shop to work in.

I have spent less time with my family and friends as time doesn't permit me to do so. I just hope they would understand that I have wasted my time during the education days so much that I feel that I need to re-explore everything and learn everything back so that I wouldn't fall into the dumps and without a stable lifestyle. I can assure you that once I am stable, I would see everyone again as much as possible.

At the moment, I just want everyone's support and hope that I wouldn't be lazy anymore. Also, I would need prayers that what I am doing would benefit me and would end up making my life a success.

late appreciation

Is it too late to appreciate you now? Everything was in the clouds, but, only recently that it hit me that I may like you. Why now? I don't know.