The big picture of them all

Another post yet to be written by myself. I had to make myself private for awhile as I was afraid that the higher authority in this house has been reading my blog. Well, I do not really have big secrets in here, but, you can never be too careful. A rock climbing session tomorrow with my sister again,hopefully this time i can climb on the auto belay section without having any fear at all. I somehow feel like a ghost waiting to arise from the dead. Maybe its the left4dead game,it might not be left4dead,but, somehow, I need to stop being so tiny.

I have so many things to say that I do not know where to begin. About the ex, it has been approximately a week and 2 hours since the last time I called him and could not get through. I gave him a weird message in the end, until, friends realized I was acting all cuckoo in the small room. I am just glad I have the set of friends I have at the moment, even if they make fun of me, but, hey, I know they're just playing. I would rather friends who say things infront than at the back. Since my cousins are all busy, I have not have the time to go out with them that much. At the same time, I think its better this way,because they like to ask me questions about my ex sometimes which makes me really uncomfortable.

The boycott nonsense

           I am not trying to interrupt those who think what is right or wrong to them. I just have my own opinion, if you have yours to stick to, than let it be yours, I have my own. Personally, I doubt that by boycotting Jewish products will help the war in Gaza. Why? Well, by boycotting those products do you not think that it would effect our own economy. Think of those who work in the company itself, now, Starbucks, intel, Cocacola, Estee Lauder etc. is not a small company.

    People who work in there and actually need a job are muslims too. So, what if a small amount of muslims decided not to buy their products. Do you not think that they do not have strategy plans to make their company grow, I mean you can never run away from Jewish products. Advertisements everywhere, good advertisements they are like the big brothers of the world, they are companies that never fall no matter how many people you recruit to boycott the company.  People all over the world buy their product and a tiny amount of people would not hurt them at all, even if it does, it would just be a pinch for them. If you make a statistic on how many malaysian muslims work in the company, you would think twice to boycott the big companies. 

     Not only that, maybe our government has some funds/investment of the company itself. So, if all the Jewish companies are gone here in Malaysia, do you think we would get attention from tourists or expatrates, maybe you think we do not need their attention, no, actually we do. Here is the thing, have you ever looked went into a mall and think its dodgy and suddenly starbucks is right at the corner and you just think oh alright this place is alright, why? just because starbucks is there. What about mac donalds? Walk in to a mall, you do not know what to eat, and suddenly you see this really familiar logo and the red and yellow cheerful colour, you instantly feel like eating something from mcdonalds, because everyone knows mcdonalds just like everyone knows cocacola. So, with these so called tools, people would come to our country and think "oh, malaysia is not a backward country after all it has all the main shops, I don't mind coming here again". 

    So, if we can't boycott the companies, what can we do to help as muslims? Well, as muslims, we can't just pray and not do anything about it. I am not saying praying does not help, it does! but, we have to do something right. Well, come to think of it, we have rich muslims around the world. Instead of fighting with each other, we could keep the energy for those in need, but, ofcourse that won't happen. We can also have our own product, and make all muslims buy it, well, not just muslims but everyone all over the world. Try to do what the jews do. If they can do it, why cant we do it too? 

    

The wishes hopefully

It is 4.40 am I can't sleep, all I could think of right now is.... I WISH I WAS PRETTY!!!! I WISH...I had more personality! I wish I was a braniac well not a braniac but more intellectual than I am now. I wish I was more independent. I wish I had a boyfriend who does not give two fucks about my looks and just love me the way I am. I wish I had someone who understands me completely. I wish I had more money. I wish I am not as naive or as blunt. I wish I would not have to think twice about buying clothes all the time. I wish I was thinner. I wish I would not have a big appetite at night. I wish my medication does not make me fat all the time. I wish people should just shush whenever they see me gaining weight. I wish my ex was dead.  I wish I could just stop smoking. I wish some guy had find me interesting and we both fall in love as though we were in lala fairy tale land. 

Langat and CNY

          My friends and I celebrated shareen's birthday at langat on sunday, went back on monday. It was fun, in a get away place of Farid's. Well, at least I did I guess with all the things there. I can't really write about it, the thing I can write about is the fact that I swam almost 3 or 4 times in the cold water. Even at 5 o'clock, well, it was too cold for me that I dunked my body in the water,maybe, it is not called swimming its just me and my fat arse dunking myself in.  After a day not sleeping, I slept in the car.

          Knowing that it is chinese new year, I went to Nic's place. It was jolly!  no, not jolly shandy.We have not seen each other in almost a year. We talked for hours and her parents are very sweet, they still remember us. I was quite sad that chelle could not come, she would spice things up a little.Especially the time Jing became a really good actress and Fizzie and I could not stop laughing our brains out. I practically had a seizure,I could have sworn the saliva kept gashing down my mouth(which was not really pretty at all).The mother came to the room and asked us why, well, I really could not answer,luckily nic was there to tell her mom the whole story. We had a couple of flashbacks in school, about our class teacher such as ogre which I shant say her name. We just call her ogre, because she used to be mean and also big. That reminds me though, I have not taken my SPM slip yet. Dear Nic,Jing and Chelle including miss fizzie...I really miss you bitches, I just realized that Chinese New Year is the only time we get to see each other properly. Its rather sad though, we used to go Curve together all the time, maybe, nearly every weekend. If you guys read this, remember our pack of going to Amsterdam together. This is an update for Chelly, we made a pack in Nic's place, we're going to Amsterdam together in about 5 years time. 

hyped about climbing

       I have started wall climbing with my sister. Apparently, Raimy my sister's long term crush has been going there for 2 months. I did not know that when she invited me to tag along,but, now I know. Well, I am really glad my sister brought me along, I have become addicted to this sport. Somehow, I was afraid that I was not able to climb as the confidence level in myself was quite low,but, when I did it, I was rather surprised at myself and now, I feel like climbing everyday. Well, everyday might be abit too much as climbing takes up your strength and I would be awfully tired. Therefore, maybe I would climb 3 times a week. The people in camp5 are really friendly, I did not feel any tension or sense of competition in any of them, they were all there to help. 

       I think after I master this sport, I would like to follow my cousin to go indonesia or any other place in malaysia to climb. She has been wanting me to go with her for long now, since, she is about to get married, maybe, I can ask her to bring me along. I am sorry, all I can think about now is climbing. Maybe next, I could go back to New Zealand and go water rafting and also bungy jumping. Things that I would love and want to do since I was small, I was sooo close but yet soo far. The only 2 people who prevented me to do all these is obviously my parents. The thing is, danger is everywhere, so, why not experience the extreme. I am actually really glad that I have 2 people to go climbing with, going alone would just be boring. Raimy is really hyped about it, he bought the chalk bag and the climbing shoes as soon as we talked about it. I really hope my sister and Raimy can be together, even though he can't speak malay, my sister no difference, he has an american accent and my sister has a british accent. So, all and all I think somehow, they are meant to be together. 

      

The niece

       

Her curls down her hair falls,

Her face speaks of different emotions,

She jumps as though the heavens sent,

Her determination is as hard as the bricks,

To talk is what is difficult for her,

but, her spirit and giggles lifts others,

the things she does is immortal genius,

even better than the other kids her age,

she opens up my eyes,

mine, who is her aunt,

even if the words she speak is just babbles,

she gives me hope,

her presence is though happiness dropped,

she never complains or cry whenever she has classes,

I know she wants to speak,

I know she gets frustrated if we do not understand,

but, there is something in her mind I cant tell,

until today, I wonder what it is.

I thank god for her.

this is me doing a test

I decided to do this...I have nothing else better to do :D I took this from linda.

The rules:
Bold the statements that are true to you. Italise the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I own lots of magazines.
I wear glasses or contact lense
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.ahahahahahahahahahaha tipu je
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm totally smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really,really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat. 
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone. (yeah the one i have right now is m's...thanks!)
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I have dated a close friends's ex.
I am happy at this moment!! 
I'm obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever i can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules. 
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsesical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie

I love being happy.